It’s been a whole year since I got home. And a few weeks – I’ve been a slack blogger these last few months. This slackness is partly due to being busy, but equally in being busy it’s a reflection of how little time I put aside to consider where I am in life and where I’m going.
It has been psychologically interesting to consider the change of tone of my blog posts over the last few years. First I was a nervous blogger, putting down gossip and exciting stories to hold my minimal audiances attention. Then I grew in confidence and continued a gossipy style, with some reflections. Finally, during the travels, I think the blogs quickly covered off my activities and became more a place to sound off my thoughts and feelings of the time.
But now the blog entries have been reduced to monthly summaries with a little thought of the moment. They have been brief flashes of my world right there and then, and together they don’t chart my years feelings and thoughts very well at all. And my journal simply gathers dust, of course. Non-electric things find less place in my London life.
I have come to believe that a good part of this is my time in the big city is quite dependant on relationships and social interactions that don’t make for good blog material – any musing I might have over a certain encounter could easily be read by the other people involved, who then might be somewhat upset if I was blogging behind there back. Travelling was a more self-realising experiance – much less of my emotional growth was through long-term growth of relationships.
In more concluding words, whilst I feel some regret about the reduced use of my blog, I realise this is part of my becoming quite detached directionally and emotionally again – possibly from a lack of reflection on my life on any regular basis. Given the public nature of blogging, this is possibly best kept in journal form in many ways, but finding those minutes to sit down and write at the end of the day can be hard.