Full of chemicals

15 Nov

Still battling through first week of cycle three. It’s not been pleasant – my arm still hurts, although somewhat less than Tuesday, but the drugs are pushing me on edge as always. With the addition of the Oxytetracyclene (to reduce the acne side-effect of Cetuximab – which it is finally starting to do) I am on about 16 pills a day, most of which get my system pretty wired. And with a little nausea I feel just like throwing them all up 😦

Mimi took this week off and has been taking care of me – perhaps this is why the blog is less “look at me coping” and more “look at me being pissed off with things” this week. I’ve had less need to soldier on and keep my life going, and have been allowed to just flake out all week, knowing I’ll still be fed, bought drinks and generally looked after. I miss coping, it felt good, but equally I guess I need an off-week, some time to just throw up my hands and say this is hard work and I’ll be glad when it’s all over and until then, things are hard.

Thanks for the offers of support this week – I’ve generally just kept myself to myself and spent most of my time with Mimi. Maybe next cycle I can call you all back ! It’s hard to invite people over when you know you are just going to be rubbish, and probably not up to much chat. But the whole “waiting for tomorrow” thing is not a good attitude when tomorrow is still quite a few months away.

Every day of each cycle gets a little better – my touchstone and mantra now. Today I pottered around Camden a little, saw a movie and enjoyed a tasty burger dinner. Tomorrow I might manage a little early xmas shopping in Angel. Life still potters on around the crappyness, and looking forward to at quite a few decent days before the next cycle has to begin.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: